This is our once a month series on what’s happening in our lives currently. Life Currently 5: Big news, life changes, Halloween, and of course snapchat fun!
First, just let me thank everyone for all the emails, texts, calls, and messages that I have received over the last few months. I am humbled and completely in awe of the human race right now.
With that being said, let’s just get straight down to the nitty gritty…
Where I’ve Been
The last few months have been a whirlwind and my family absolutely HAD to come first. They had to, so I took a few months off of work (here-the blog) and I am so happy that I was blessed to even be able to do that, so thank you (yes! you!).
I had to prepare my three children for a divorce and a miscarriage. Hardest thing I ever had to do. That’s why I needed so much time. Not only to prepare them, but to prepare myself. So many things come in a divorce- two homes instead of one, one income instead of two, splitting time with kids who have lived with you 100% of the time since birth, etc. It’s hard. Just hard. And it was. Still is. Divorce is the biggest life adjustment I have ever had to make and having a miscarriage in the midst of it all was just devastating.
My Divorce Story
Beau and I were together for 8 years and married for 5. They say if you can make it over the five-year “hump” then you can make it through anything. Well, we didn’t make it. We ended up falling into that high percentage of divorce rates that tends to happen around year five.
Beau and I appeared to be happy in our marriage but in the end we weren’t. We loved each other but we just weren’t getting along. It started to affect every aspect of my life, my job, my kiddos, etc. I am usually transparent in exactly what goes on in my life, but some things I cannot reveal, and I am sorry for that. I know y’all love my transparency, but for the sake of my kiddos (who can read) I would rather keep some of the adult problems in my marriage to just that- adults. Hope you understand. :)
In the end, it just wasn’t working. It got bad. Actually horrendous, rocky, scary. We tried counseling in many different forms. We did everything we could, but we failed. Not a good time in life, so on May 8, 2018 I filed for divorce. We knew in March/April that it was only a matter of time. And it happened. But, life didn’t just stop there. We were leasing a home together until August 2018, so we had to continue to live under the same roof from the time we filed until August 1st, and it was rough, man. Rough. During this time we did honor our 50/50 custody schedule even while living under the same roof. This allowed our children to slowly acclimate to mom and dad not being around all the time on certain days. I think this was the only thing good about still living together, it let the kids see that mom and dad could work together even though we were apart.
Beau moved out on August 1st, 2018 into a home of his own. I helped him move. We were civil. Things were good. We exchanged keys, and even had keys to each others homes, in case we ever needed anything for the kids. I thought we were finally in a good place 4 months after filing for divorce. He still helped me around the house with stuff, helped me with the kids, helped me with work, etc. Things were good.
Our divorce was final on September 18, 2018.
People started noticing that he or I would be out with other people on certain days and they eventually messaged me or him- implying there was obviously an issue in our marriage, so we figured it was time to tell the world, so I made the following Facebook post about our divorce on October 3rd.
I guess it’s time to “tell” everyone since I’m getting messages about it almost every day, and only a few select family and friends know. After being together for 8 years, yes, Beau and I are divorced. We filed May 8 and it was finalized September 18th. He moved into his own home on August 1st. However, you will still find us together frequently on the weekends WITH our children, you may see one of us out on a night we don’t have the kids (no-no one is cheating), we both have keys to each others homes, and we both will continue to do what is in the best interest of our children. Period. Happy Wednesday. #wellthereitis #whoompthereitis #itsallgood#coparentingdoneright
I know. I know. The hashtags, but I love using hashtags on Facebook for funny sarcasm. ;) Clearly.
But, like I said things were good. Just groovy I would say at this point.
The following pictures were taken around August 2nd at a pool-party, which wouldv’e been our 5 year wedding anniversary. See. Civil and still close (although he is throwing me in the pool-clothes and all! Ha!)…
Where We’re at Now
I wish things would have stayed civil, for the children, and for the ease of co-parenting, but I am sad to “report” that it is currently not civil. Everything we seem to talk about turns into an argument. We exchanged keys back, and it is extremely stressful at this time. However, I think Beau is just hurt.
Why? Because I have moved on and I am dating someone new. I honestly think that Beau thought we would be apart for a year or so, and that we would eventually get back together. Not going to lie, I thought and felt the same way for awhile after our divorce and how we kept things private.
One night I told him that I needed to talk to him. He said okay, about what? I said Dez. I think he knew at that point what was going on. See, Dez is my boyfriend. As soon as I told him that I needed to talk to him about Dez, he text me and asked if we were together. I had to tell him. 1. I don’t lie, and 2. He deserves to know who is going to be around his children. Period. I would expect the same. On a side note- Dez and Beau get along just fine and they are civil with each other, it is Beau and I that are having a hard time being civil. I’m trying, I really am. That’s all I want but when everything turns into an argument, it tends to never go anywhere.
My New Relationship
Ahhh- Dez. Just saying his name makes me smile. He’s seriously the best. He’s different. I can honestly say that this is the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in in my 37 years of life. It just is. It’s refreshing. I’m happy. Like truly happy. I haven’t felt this way in a really long time and you know what? I deserve it. Everyone deserves to have something like I have now. :)
There is an age difference between us, but the heart wants what it wants. I am 37 and he will be 29 on November 6th. So, like an 8 year difference. He has no children. I have 3- 50% of the time. I’m sure it’s a big adjustment for him, but he’s handling it like a champ. It’s nice though that we can get alone time when the kids are at their dad’s house. :) I am, at least, getting used to that even though it is still hard not seeing them every day.
What I Hope the Future Holds
In the deepest depths of my heart, all I want is for Beau and I to be civil. To get back to that place. It was awesome being in that place. It was good for me. Good for the kids. Good for us. Period. So, if he’s out there reading this, that is what I want Beau. That is all I want. To be civil. Let’s do it for our children. Please!? :).
As for the blog (website) stay tuned! Delicious recipes are coming! Promise.
Oh Halloween. Am I seriously the only one in the world that loathes Halloween? I do. There. I just admitted it. It is one of my least favorite holiday’s, but the kids absolutely love it! This year we went to a Trunk or Treat at a local church and went trick or treating in an awesome neighborhood called Waterford Lakes. They always do an awesome job every year of coming together for all of the local kiddos. They get packed. I don’t even want to know how much they spend on candy. It’s insane!
And as Always, Snapchat Fun!
Anyone that goes through the car pickup line every.single.day like me. Bless you because you know the struggle… ;)